♥ JOSHINE.

2010-05-25T23:09:00.002+08:00

I moved!

Thank you for sharing my joy and pain thus far.
Come start anew with me here. (:

1584 :

2010-05-24T01:37:00.001+08:00

"One day you’re going to want that specific girl. That girl that knew she wasn’t perfect, but tried to be for you. That girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you and love you the only way she knew she could but you wouldn’t let her. That girl who sees your flaws, but values them as much as your strengths. That girl who still can’t bring herself to hate you, even though you probably deserve it. That girl who saw past your pretty face and treasured parts of you that no one else appreciated. That girl who realizes she may never have your heart, but will carry the image of you in hers forever. And by the time you realize that’s the girl you’re looking for, she’ll be with the guy who already knew."

(via magicalmatilda)

1583 :

2010-05-24T01:32:00.002+08:00

when you learn how to love,

you're gonna cry for me.

1582 : guts.

2010-05-24T01:31:00.000+08:00

If packing my days with outings, games, movies and what not takes my mind off my problems somewhat and it's effective only for as long as it lasts, then it makes me wonder why I'm not taking drugs when they have the same effect, but that they ease one's pain so much more effectively and efficiently (while it lasts too)?

Maybe I just don't have the guts.

Just like I don't have the guts to stand up for myself in front of you.

1581 : quads.

2010-05-23T15:18:00.002+08:00

Today I folded a four of a kind.

1580 : wishlist.

2010-05-23T00:37:00.001+08:00

I figured that making a wishlist might cheer me up.
So here goes:

I want...
1. Flip-flops
2. MP3 player, at least 32GB
3. Digital camera
4. More shorts
5. Tops and dresses
6. Jeans
7. Accessories
8. OPI top+base coat
9. Driving license
10. Shoes

And you. (:

1579 :

2010-05-22T23:55:00.000+08:00

Seeing YH's three beautiful kids made me happy.
I really can't wait for the day I have my own. (:

I want to watch 'Prince of Persia' and 'Sex and The City 2'!
Then there's 'The Karate Kid' to look forward to after.

I really want a camera.
But I am ultra broke. :(

1578 :

2010-05-22T23:16:00.000+08:00

People around me keep saying I look shagged.
I guess fatigue is one thing I can't hide from others.

I met another friend today who didn't know what happened.
Asked about you and I didn't know how to react again.

I'm starting to dread meeting people I'm not close with.

1577 : two.

2010-05-22T23:13:00.000+08:00

2 years since you were gone.

2 years since I watched you die.

2 years and I know you're still looking out for me.

2 years and I'm missing you.

1576 : i must.

2010-05-22T13:24:00.000+08:00

I must eat. I must get better.
Today I will watch movie and have dinner.
A good movie and a good dinner.
With good company.

Then tomorrow I will see you.
(:

1575 : beyond repair.

2010-05-22T00:31:00.000+08:00

People say I've lost weight.. It's both a good and bad thing I guess..
But I seem to be sinking deeper and deeper into depression..
Or rather, it's like a roller coaster ride but on a general decline..

I don't know what to do, really..
The chapters are piling up but I have no heart to study.
I'm still eating one meal or less per day.
I still get disrupted sleep and wake up feeling tired.
Going through the day wears me out even further.

I try to eat, but I can never finish my food.
I try to sleep, but I toss and turn and cry.
I try to go out with my friends, yes..
It takes my mind off things for a while,
but it's only a temporary effect..
And when I go to bigger gatherings,
people still think I'm a girlfriend and ask about it.

What should I do, really..
My heart is broken beyond repair..

1574 : you know that it's you.

2010-05-20T22:27:00.003+08:00

"Every time I see your face I miss you baby
I want to let you know you're driving me crazy
I'd do anything to help you to see
I don't think you understand what you're doing to me
Every now and then I want to call you baby
I say a prayer that you'll come back to me
Life ain't anything alone, can't you see
You're an angel in my eyes
Everyday you're closer to me"

Nobody's there when I call your name.

- 5ive, 'Closer To Me'

1573 : don't wanna go.

2010-05-20T22:22:00.000+08:00

I wish I didn't care

But I can't help it

I'm feeling you baby

I can't let you go, whoa whoa

It's something in the air

I need you right here

I'm feeling you baby

I can't leave you alone

I don't wanna go

Without you, without you, without you

No I don't wanna go

Without you, without you, without you

No I don't wanna go

Without you, without you, without you

No I don't wanna go

Without you, without you, without you

- Travis Garland, 'Don't Wanna Go'

1572 : weary.

2010-05-20T20:55:00.002+08:00

i am very tired.

1571 : crane.

2010-05-20T20:54:00.002+08:00

The crane that you folded for me today was extra special.
There's something different about it.
I can feel it.

1570 :

2010-05-19T23:38:00.002+08:00

but you're not here when i need you the most.

1569 : the dark road ahead.

2010-05-19T23:31:00.000+08:00

I do not have a good feeling about Summer 1.
PSY448 isn't as easy as it seems.
ECO182 is just gonna kill me again.

I can't concentrate on my books.
I'm still trying very hard just to survive each day.

1568 : airplanes.

2010-05-19T11:52:00.002+08:00

"can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? i could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now."
- B.O.B ft. Hayley Williams, 'Airplanes'

1567 :

2010-05-19T11:41:00.002+08:00

(via magicalmatilda)

1566 : kiss.

2010-05-19T11:36:00.003+08:00

"For a second, I wondered whether kissing her would break the spell we both were under, but it was too late to stop. And when her lips met mine, I knew that I could live to be a hundred and visit every country in the world, but nothing would ever compare to that single moment when I first kissed the girl of my dreams and knew that my love would last forever."
- Nicholas Sparks, 'Dear John'

1565 :

2010-05-19T11:31:00.000+08:00

I had unbelievably amazing discounts at Borders, and I got books for people but not for myself.
I feel charitable.

It's time to start studying but I still have no mood.

1564 : superman.

2010-05-18T00:20:00.004+08:00

"who's gonna save you when the stars fall from your sky? who's gonna pull you in when the tide gets too high? who's gonna hold you when you turn out the lights? i won't lie; i wish that i could be your superman tonight."
- Bon Jovi, 'Superman Tonight'

1563 : summer.

2010-05-17T23:55:00.002+08:00

Marina Bay Sands is a fucking awesome place. Beats Resorts World without a doubt.

I have like four tiny cuts on my right hand, and a finger that itches madly.
How unlucky am I.

School starts tomorrow. I don't know how things will be like.
I do hope it's a good thing, of course.
Though I don't look forward to Changi at all. :(

I hope my blue toe nails bring me luck.

I believe that I'm important to you and that's why you're doing this.
And hell, do I miss you a lot but there are far important things.
I really hope that this is serving you well. (:

SUMMER 2010 ; with every bit of sunshine.

1562 :

2010-05-16T14:47:00.000+08:00

I have a hard time telling if the pain comes from my heart or from my cramps.

Only God will not forsake me.

1561 : just another day.

2010-05-15T18:43:00.004+08:00

Jon Secada - Just Another Day

Mornings alone

When you come home

I breathe a little faster

Every time we're together

It'd never be the same

If you're not here

How can you stay away, away so long

Why can't we stay together

Just give me a reason

Give me a reason

I, I don't wanna say it

I don't wanna find another way

To make it through the day without you

I, I can't resist

Trying to find exactly what I miss

It's just another day without you

It's just another day

Making the time

Find the right lines to make you stay forever

What do I have to tell you

I'm just trying to hold on to something

(Trying to hold on to something good)

Give us a chance to make it

Don't wanna hold on to never

I'm not that strong

I, I don't wanna say it

I don't wanna find another way

To make it through the day without you

I, I can't resist

Trying to find exactly what I miss

It's just another day without you

Why can't you stay forever

Just give me a reason

Give me a reason

1560 : everyday.

2010-05-15T17:27:00.001+08:00

I've become quite obsessed with looking at the time.
And everyday it's the same routine.

I wake up at 8 plus in the morning and my heart starts aching.
I see my phone and there's no messages.
I force myself to go back to sleep.
I wake up again at 10 plus and my heart continues to ache.
The tears come.
I call you.
We hang up and I cry some more.
I force myself to get out of bed.
I don't bother brushing my teeth or washing my face.
I eat some cereal.
I turn on the computer.
Nothing on FB, nothing in my inbox.
I watch a movie or play games.
The next time I look at the time, it's about 3 or 4 plus.
I thank God I've just passed half the day.
Still nothing on FB or inbox or phone.
I go back to my movies or games.
It's dinnertime but I don't feel like eating.
If I'm at home I try to eat a bit as I don't wish to worry my parents.
I go back to my movies or games.
Yes, it's already 9 or 10pm.
Still nothing on FB or inbox or phone.
I play a bit of poker. More games.
You finally come online and talk to me a bit.
I find ways and means to stay up later because I fear sleeping.
I fear waking up.
And the cycle continues.

Everyday.

1559 : where?

2010-05-15T12:11:00.003+08:00

I remember how it all happened.
I remember how it all started.
I remember how happy we were that we found each other.
I remember the KBox when I started to fall for you.
I remember the Melon Ball and Sea Breeze.
I remember the bash and how excited we were.
I remember the Marina South Pier and the long talks.
I remember the 5-10 games that made us go crazy.
I remember the family gatherings.
I remember MJ and Coraline and how much we wanted to hold each others' hands.
I remember Portal and how we complemented each other.

I didn't mind your annoying emoticons.
I didn't mind your scars.
I didn't mind your past.
I didn't mind your poor memory.
I didn't mind your temper or impatience.
I didn't mind your fascination for cars.
I didn't mind your passion for soccer.
I didn't mind your love for your friends.
I loved every bit of you.

I love you for who you are.

Although I admit that yes there were times I got greedy.
And I wanted you to show me that you'd do anything for me.
I chose to find faults because I wanted to know that you'd cheer me up and assure me.
But at the end of the day, I still loved and accepted you for who you are.
I wouldn't give anything to change any part of you.

But now that things are like that, I wish I didn't ask for anything more.

I appreciated everything that you've done for me.
Every single thing. Big or small, significant or insignificant.
Nothing about you is insignificant anyway.
We went through so much together even though it's been only a few months.
Despite the hiccups along the way, we were happy together still.
We felt thankful and fortunate to have each other at the end of the day.

But one mistake on my part and everything fell apart.
I had to mention that evil thing and my world crumbled in an instant.

Just what went wrong?
Where did we go wrong?

1558 : faith.

2010-05-15T01:41:00.002+08:00

Faith is a very powerful thing.
It can change lives, so can it change the world.
It can take away lives, so can it take away pain.
It drives people forward, and it promotes backwardness.

While reason needs faith, faith needs no reason.
It can make people do things that no one has ever thought of.
Faith goes beyond the limits of human understanding.
But what we know is that faith is a very powerful thing.

Faith is what I still have after all this time.
Faith in a better future for me, faith in God.
Faith in humanity, faith in children.
Faith in faith.

I have faith in you. In us.

1557 : what's wrong?

2010-05-14T12:07:00.000+08:00

We couldn't even hit six months together.
I am such a failure... Doomed never to have a relationship that lasts.

It seems like whether I give my all or don't give my all,
people still get tired and walk out on me...
One mistake and everything blows...
All the good things are not enough to outweigh the tiny mistakes.

What's wrong with me?

1556 : please stop.

2010-05-14T11:39:00.000+08:00

Please God, stop this pain... I pray to the angels.
Stop my heart from aching...
Stop my tears from flowing...
Stop the bad dreams and nightmares...

And make everything right again.

1555 : angels cry.

2010-05-13T18:57:00.002+08:00

I shouldn't have walked away. I would've stayed if you said we could've made everything okay. But we just threw the blame back and forth, we treated love like a sport. The final blow hit so low... I'm still on the ground.

I couldn't have prepared myself for this fall... Shattered in pieces, curled on the floor. Super natural love conquers all. Remember, we used to touch the sky... And lightning don't strike the same place twice. When you and I said goodbye, I felt the angels cry. True love's a gift; we let it drift in a storm... Every night I feel the angels cry.

C'mon babe can't our love be revived? Bring it back and we gon' make it right. I'm on the edge just tryin' to survive, as the angels cry.

I thought we'd be forever and always. You were serenity, you took away the bad days. Didn't always treat you right, but it was okay. I do somethin' stupid and you still stay with me.

But you can only go for so long... Doing the one you claim to love wrong. Before too much is enough, you look up find your love gone. And we were so good together... How come we could not weather this storm and just do better? Why did we say goodbye?

'Cause lightning don't strike the same place twice. When you and I said goodbye, I felt the angels cry. True love's a gift; we let it drift in a storm... Now every night I feel the angels cry.

C'mon babe can't our love be revived? Bring it back and we gon' make it right. I'm on the edge just tryin' to survive, as the angels cry.

Baby I'm missin' you... Don't allow love to lose. We gotta ride it through... I'm reaching for you. Baby I'm missin' you... Don't allow love to lose. We gotta ride it through... I'm reaching for you.

Lightning don't strike the same place twice. When you and I said goodbye, I felt the angels cry. True love's a gift, but we let it slip in a storm. Every night I feel the angels cry...

Oh babe, the angels cry.

- Mariah Carey ft. Neyo, 'Angels Cry'

1554 : all wrong.

2010-05-10T22:20:00.000+08:00

I've always followed my heart, even when my head goes against it.
Most of the time, things turn out the wrong way.

This time, I followed both my heart and mind.
I'm still wrong.

1553 : then.

2010-05-10T12:53:00.000+08:00

We found each other and we became so happy.
We were the happiest people on earth.
We wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.
We wanted all that so much.

Then things took an unexpected turn.

And I have nothing left now.

1552 : mercy.

2010-05-10T10:56:00.000+08:00

All I ask is for God to have mercy on me...
This is plain torture... And it gets worse each day...

1551 : dreadful days.

2010-05-09T23:59:00.000+08:00

1 long day and 1 long night on Tuesday...
I honestly don't know how to survive...

And then there's Wednesday...

I dread those days so much.

1550 : i want to be alone.

2010-05-09T19:26:00.000+08:00

I find it difficult to talk to anybody, and I don't want to, because nobody knows the gravity of the situation nor understands the extent of my pain.

Not even close.

1549 : never.

2010-05-09T19:15:00.000+08:00

I never knew I could be so useless, so helpless...
I've never felt so undeserving, so devastated...

I never wanted any of this.
But ironically I asked for it.
I let myself down.
I let you down.
I let everyone else down.

I am not wallowing in self-pity.
I truly feel ashamed.

1548 : shame.

2010-05-09T13:20:00.000+08:00

I am deeply ashamed. My actions have caused such harsh criticisms against me and yes, they hurt a lot but I don't blame anyone. I brought this upon myself, and I will take it...

I can't bring myself to face you anymore. Or anyone else.

I will leave quietly...

1547 :

2010-05-09T00:32:00.000+08:00

I don't wanna go out.
I don't wanna see anybody or talk to anybody.

1546 : forfeit.

2010-05-08T18:41:00.002+08:00

I missed the Psych talks.
$12 gone. Whee.

1545 : mirror.

2010-05-08T14:12:00.000+08:00

I don't want to look myself in the mirror.
Because all I see is a weak, sore loser who let you slip away.

1544 :

2010-05-08T11:42:00.002+08:00

1543 :

2010-05-08T11:41:00.003+08:00

1542 : wake up.

2010-05-08T11:37:00.000+08:00

I find myself calling "baby". To no one.

I thought that I would feel better waking up in the morning.
My friends say so too.
But I wake up from bad dreams.
I wake up to reality.
I wake up to emptiness.

Then the tears come all over again.

1541 :

2010-05-08T02:35:00.000+08:00

I love you, and I will do my best to be strong.
For you.

1540 : hotline.

2010-05-06T23:07:00.000+08:00

"Maybe it's another of God's tests."
Maybe.

But God, I don't see how I will go through each day from now on.
What are You doing? I hurt, but I find no comfort.

I feel dead.

1539 :

2010-05-06T23:04:00.002+08:00

I'm tired and hungry, but I have no motivation to sleep or eat.

1538 : whirl.

2010-05-06T22:52:00.000+08:00

I should have kept my big mouth shut.
I have let everyone down, including myself.
I brought this whole thing upon myself.
No one thinks this is anything new, but they have no idea.
It's okay if my friends don't support me.
You seem to move on really fast.
I have to fight this battle alone.
I swear I never cried so much in my life.

The world has no idea.

I just hope I stay mentally sane.

1537 : two words.

2010-05-05T23:55:00.000+08:00

I hate the words "jaded" and "assurance", because one of them is what you feel a lot and the other you give little.

1536 : my heart.

2010-05-05T22:22:00.005+08:00

(via magicalmatilda)

1535 : is it?

2010-05-05T22:13:00.000+08:00

"Why is having casual sex with a man you pick up at a singles bar considered acceptable, but having sex as a business proposition is not? Which is more ethical?"
- Jeanette Angell, 'Callgirl'

1534 : (futile) efforts.

2010-05-05T22:05:00.001+08:00

You don't want me to talk to you, I don't.
You don't want to see me, I won't.
You want your own space, I give it to you.
I'm working hard so that you wouldn't take me for granted.

So that you'd notice me.
So that you'd be more interested.
So that you'd be happy.

But I'm as unappreciated as before.,
or at least I feel so.

Maybe it still isn't enough.
Maybe you don't realize it.
Maybe you don't express it.

There are so many maybes.
How am I supposed to know?

1533 : alternatives.

2010-05-05T11:01:00.002+08:00

I'm bored. I'm troubled.
I've been texting quite a few of my friends lately.

Because I know I can't count on you alone anymore.

1532 : awake.

2010-05-05T11:00:00.000+08:00

Maybe all that happened at the start was just a dream.
A sweet, sweet dream that didn't seem to end.
It was full of promises, happiness and bliss.

But now I've woken up; it's back to reality.
Waking up to the fact that all good things come to an end.

And that after all, I'm still alone.

1531 : the other side.

2010-05-05T00:15:00.003+08:00

(via thereisnosquarezero)

1530 : peace.

2010-05-05T00:14:00.002+08:00

1529 : 3 things.

2010-05-04T23:26:00.000+08:00

3 things I'm thankful for today:

1. I sat in for Summer Orientation meeting.

2. Baby and I started playing Heavy Rain, finally.

3. I bought three books at Borders.

1528 : i know.

2010-05-04T23:24:00.000+08:00

I know you're still jaded.
I have so many things that I want to do with you this holiday.
But I know I can't, and we perhaps shouldn't.

I hope you notice that I'm starting to improve things for you.

1527 : 3 things.

2010-05-04T01:19:00.000+08:00

3 things I'm thankful for today:

1. Mummy made salmon baked rice for me.

2. I went KBox with Baby and my girlfriends.

3. I got in touch with SQ again.

1526 : 3 things.

2010-05-02T22:52:00.000+08:00

3 things I'm thankful for today:

1. I went for a short run.

2. I watched Liverpool vs. Chelsea on my home TV.

3. Mummy made a yummy breakfast.

1525 : peanuts in the 50s.

2010-05-01T14:45:00.005+08:00

6 October 1950

7 October 1950

10 October 1950

12 October 1950

17 October 1950

1524 : 3 things.

2010-04-30T22:05:00.000+08:00

3 things I'm thankful for today:

1. I went swimming with Tammy.

2. I had swordfish collar!

3. Baby asked me out for dinner and wants to go kbox with me.

1523 : 3 things.

2010-04-30T00:54:00.002+08:00

3 things I'm thankful for today:

1. I had a good tuition.

2. I watched Iron Man 2 with my sister.

3. I bought textbooks.

1522 : craving.

2010-04-29T00:39:00.002+08:00

1521 : the paths that crossed.

2010-04-29T00:10:00.004+08:00

I've had a couple of boyfriends, girlfriends, been into a few relationships, good and bad. I learnt a lot from every one of them, and although they ended - some amicably, some in hostility - I never regretted any of them. There were a few others in between, but we never made any commitment, they just came and went. Some I'm glad I didn't go further with, a couple I regretted not seizing the opportunity when it was there. Oh well, I believe it wasn't meant to be.

The first (/"real") relationship was of infatuation. It was a good experience, but he was possessive, immature, and our relationship was unhealthy. I couldn't keep up with it, I lost my enthusiasm, and eventually I ended it once and for all.

Then came the best and longest-lasting one thus far. Our romance was deep, we never quarelled or argued or fought for two whole years. But too bad our religious beliefs clashed, and we had to part - there was no other option. We still keep in touch, bump into each other occasionally at the bus stop and catch up with each other as much as we can. I still stare at his unit whenever I pass by it, very closely to mine, but not for any longer. He's now engaged, managing his studies and struggling to earn tens of thousands of dollars for his upcoming wedding and flat deposit at the same time. I've always told myself that his wife, whoever it would be, would be the luckiest woman on earth. And I still think the same way. I still find him charming and smart and different from the rest, but it's a pity.

The third one was a brief but enjoyable one. A Malaysian scholar, skinny and dark and extremely sporty. But we knew we couldn't last, and we broke off.

I met the fourth one after 8 months of singlehood (it is a huge deal for me). I knew there was no future for us, but we couldn't keep apart. The whole thing was just a downward spiral, and we bore the consequences for an agonizing year. But until now, I still believe that if I lived in a free society, I would choose to spend the rest of my life with a female partner.

Somehow the fifth one got tangled up in all the mess then. He was a great guy who showered me with loads of care and love, and I could say that he spoilt me ttm. He's the only guy so far who gave me flowers, not only on special occasions, but even on days that I felt down, just to cheer me up. And he's still the only guy who gave me flowers and bought me gifts and almost every meal. I really appreciated and enjoyed everything that he did for me, and honestly I still feel bad for leaving him. But it was really too bad.

I thought the sixth one was the one I would settle down with, but I was blinded and saw him the wrong way. I haven't exactly gotten over this mistake, and the scars are still affecting me, but it was a huge learning experience. Made me learn, the hard way, that first impressions can be deceiving. Indeed.

Then I met you, and I thought I hit the jackpot.
I still want to believe that you are.

1520 : 3 things.

2010-04-28T23:34:00.001+08:00

3 things I'm thankful for today:

1. I met up with Baby.

2. We had steamboat together, finally.

3. I won ~$70k at Zynga.

1519 : 3 things.

2010-04-27T23:46:00.000+08:00

3 things I'm thankful for today:

1. I went shopping with Tammy.

2. Mummy made breakfast and barley water for me.

3. I found cheaper (and better, I hope) contact lenses.

1518 : you.

2010-04-27T12:46:00.000+08:00

And you, whom my mother affectionately calls "Sean Koh", are my angel.

♥

1517 : goodbye spring.

2010-04-27T01:22:00.000+08:00

NTR109 Nutrition In Practice

185 / 200

PWN SPRING 2010.

((:

1516 : 3 things.

2010-04-27T01:15:00.002+08:00

3 things I'm thankful for today:

1. Mummy paid "pizza bread" for me.

2. Baby accompanied me at JP today.

3. We talked things out again.

1515 : sometimes.

2010-04-26T13:15:00.001+08:00

"Sometimes it feels like we're as close as two people can be, closer than anything or anyone anywhere and anytime.

Other times it feels like you're a million miles away."

- N

1514 : 我恨我爱你。

2010-04-26T13:12:00.001+08:00

“爱情已经过了甜蜜期

多说也是无益

爱不爱我已经没关系

一点小伤而已”

1513 : echo.

2010-04-25T23:57:00.001+08:00

"If only we'd met later..."
"If only we'd met later..."
"If only we'd met later..."
"If only we'd met later..."
"If only we'd met later..."
"If only we'd met later..."
"If only we'd met later..."
"If only we'd met later..."

1512 : please.

2010-04-25T23:53:00.003+08:00

please don't leave me.

1511 : i can't take it.

2010-04-25T23:47:00.002+08:00

Alicia Keys - Unthinkable

You give me a feeling that I never felt before

And I deserve it, I think I deserve it

It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore

And I can't take it

1510 : i want somebody.

2010-04-25T23:15:00.001+08:00

Depeche Mode - Somebody

I want somebody to share

Share the rest of my life

Share my innermost thoughts

Know my intimate details

Someone who'll stand by my side

And give me support

And in return

She'll get my support

She will listen to me

When I want to speak

About the world we live in

And life in general

Though my views may be wrong

They may even be perverted

She'll hear me out

And won't easily be converted

To my way of thinking

In fact she'll often disagree

But at the end of it all

She will understand me

I want somebody who cares

For me passionately

With every thought and with every breath

Someone who'll help me see things

In a different light

All the things I detest

I will almost like

I don't want to be tied

To anyone's strings

I'm carefully trying to steer clear

Of those things

But when I'm asleep

I want somebody

Who will put their arms around me

And kiss me tenderly

Though things like this

Make me sick

In a case like this

I'll get away with it

1509 : 3 things.

2010-04-25T22:33:00.000+08:00

3 things I'm thankful for today:

1. I swam at Baby's place.

2. Baby sent me home today.

3. I finally caught the Star Awards on TV.

1508 : of birthdays.

2010-04-25T22:31:00.000+08:00

It's your birthday today.
I hope you are well.

It's your birthday today too.
You are always important to me.

Your birthday is soon.
I don't know if I'd be there by then.

1507 : hey mom.

2010-04-25T22:21:00.003+08:00

1506 : 傻瓜。

2010-04-25T01:02:00.006+08:00

温岚 - 傻瓜

傻瓜我们都一样

被爱情伤了又伤

相信这个他不一样

却又再一次受伤

傻瓜我们都一样

受了伤却不投降

相信付出会有代价

代价只是一句傻瓜

1505 : confused.

2010-04-25T00:47:00.001+08:00

I remember...
You said you're jaded.
You asked if we'd still be friends.
You said you weren't sure.

"If only we'd met later..."

I remember...
How I cried my heart out.
It was then that I understood what love felt like.
I couldn't stop screaming, in pain.

I thought I'd lost you.

The feeling hasn't gone away.
I still feel like I'm losing you, slowly...

1504 : take you.

2010-04-24T23:52:00.003+08:00

1503 : girls.

2010-04-24T23:51:00.000+08:00

1502 : love is.

2010-04-24T23:29:00.003+08:00

1501 : 3 things.

2010-04-24T23:20:00.001+08:00

3 things I'm thankful for today:

1. Baby sent me to Eunos.

2. I had a good 3-hr tuition.

3. I met up with my relatives today.

1500 : one credit.

2010-04-24T01:13:00.002+08:00

NTR110 Nutrition In Practice

196 / 201

Done.

1499 : jaded.

2010-04-23T00:34:00.001+08:00

If you are jaded, then let me be too.

Things will be better this way.

1498 : 3 things.

2010-04-23T00:05:00.001+08:00

3 things I'm thankful for today:

1. I got to know Kenton Bruce Anderson.

2. Naz sent me home.

3. Baby revised NTR with me.

1497 : pwn.

2010-04-22T23:32:00.002+08:00

PSY485 Neuroscience of Vision

Final Exam

95 / 100

I am an extremely happy girl.

((:

1496 : thirty.

2010-04-22T00:22:00.002+08:00

NTR109 Research Paper

Topic: Trans Fatty Acids

30 / 30

I am a very happy girl.

1495 : fawty ate (as naz affectionately says).

2010-04-21T23:05:00.002+08:00

NTR109 Exam 1 - 48/50

NTR109 Exam 2 - 48/50

PSY437 Final Exam - 48/50

Will the winning streak continue tomorrow?

Let's see.

1494 : pyramid.

2010-04-21T23:00:00.001+08:00

Charice ft. Iyaz - Pyramid

Stones, heavy like the love you've shown

Solid as the ground we've known

And I just wanna carry on

We took it from the bottom up

And even in a desert storm

Sturdy as a rock we hold

Wishing every moment froze

Now I just wanna let you know

Earthquakes can shake us

Cyclones can break us

Hurricanes can take away our love

Pyramid, we built this on a solid rock

It feels just like it's heaven's touch

Together at the top, like a pyramid

And even when the wind is blowing

We'll never fall just keep on going

Forever we will stay, like a pyramid

Cold, never ever wear any clothes

We will never let it fall

A story that was never told

Something like a mystery

And every step you took we've grown

Look how fast our time has flown

A journey to a place unknown

They're going down in history

Earthquakes can shake us

Cyclones can break us

Hurricanes can take away our love

Pyramid, we built this on a solid rock

It feels just like it's heaven's touch

Together at the top, like a pyramid

And even when the wind is blowing

We'll never fall just keep on going

Forever we will stay, like a pyramid

1493 : being scared.

2010-04-21T22:52:00.000+08:00

(via thereisnosquarezero)

1492 : you're perfect to me.

2010-04-21T22:50:00.000+08:00

(via lissomlights)

1491 : 3 things.

2010-04-21T22:07:00.002+08:00

3 things I'm thankful for today:

1. Baby bought me HOCCT for lunch.

2. I got my A for PSY437.

3. Baby helped me with my Lab 12 and I've submitted it.

1490 : concrete.

2010-04-21T01:11:00.002+08:00

Thanks for assuring me of this relationship.

♥

1489 : happy.

2010-04-21T00:47:00.000+08:00

I'm wondering why I'm so happy nowadays. It's not so much of me laughing or being cheerful all the time, but about me being okay with almost everything nowadays. Well, I regard that as being happy because I'm usually feeling on the down side and I get easily agitated and upset like all the time. But my heart isn't heavy these days and I can smile and interact with people and I'm not so easily affected by the little things that would usually make me explode.

Don't be mistaken - I'm not some "emo" girl by the ghetto. I guess that when the down period sets in, it's most probably due to some root problem that would make everything seem wrong. And the down period usually gets prolonged and worsened.

So now that my heart isn't heavy and I'm relatively happier, I am pondering over the reasons why and I'm fishing out the factors that lead to my current mood. Perhaps the root problem has been solved? Or it could be due to the little "positive psychological therapy" that I've been making a point to do at the end of every day? Or maybe the hectic semester is ending so things are lightening up? Perhaps it's because I'm currently off the hormonal treatment my gynae prescribed me?

It could be any one of them. Or all of them.

I'm trying to find the key factor(s), so that I may know what makes me happy and that I can work on that in the future. I'm trying hard to keep it. I'm trying hard to remember this feeling; this feeling that I have been longing for. Some optimism. Some enthusiasm.

Letting go.
Forgiving.
Smiling.
Being flexible.
Taking things one step at a time.
Appreciating.
Loving.

Amidst all my guesses, I must say that Baby has definitely played a huge role in this, and that I am extremely thankful for. (:

I am feeling happy and contented now. I want it to stay this way.

1488 : 3 things.

2010-04-21T00:09:00.000+08:00

3 things I'm thankful for today:

1. PSY485 final exam is over.

2. I had McDonald's with Baby, Naz and Wendy.

3. I revised PSY437 with Baby and Tammy.

1487 : glow.

2010-04-21T00:06:00.000+08:00

(via lissomlights)

1486 : 3 things.

2010-04-19T11:59:00.000+08:00

3 things I'm thankful for today:

1. I had ice cream and chips with Baby.

2. I finished revising PSY437 with Baby.

3. I had the whole bed to myself in the afternoon (without Baby).